Everywhere I look I see cancer. I see cancer in the sky, in the air, in the sun. Every moment fills my mind with all the hurt and pain of what I see my father in law going through right now. I try to look ahead. I try to think of something to say other than subjects with death and dying and cancer, and life, and deep subjects and I can’t. I try to write about peaceful things, ordinary moments and all my words seem hollow.

My life is literally like a roller coaster these days. It’s amazing how many emotions one can feel in a day, in an hour, in a moment. Writing is what I do when my soul is disturbed; when my heart is hurting. It soothes me. It takes all the jumbled mixed up pieces of my mind; my heart; all the worries, all the cares and concerns, all the pain and packages it up in one big piece of writing. So that I can be free – for a little while longer.


There are seasons in the journey of life where everything is not ok. I am not talking about the bad days where everything seems to be going wrong. Your car doesn’t start, your dog runs away or you get into a fight with your best friend. I am talking about those stretches in your life where your heart hurts – where the hurt reaches to your toes.