Be Still And Know

“God is our protection and our strength. He always helps in times of trouble. So we will not be afraid even if the earth shakes, or the mountains fall into the sea, even if the oceans roar and foam, or if the mountains shake at the raging sea…God says, ‘Be still and know that I am God. I will be supreme over all the nations. I will be supreme in the earth.’” Ps. 46:1,10

My biggest question as a follower of Christ my whole life is how can it be okay when it’s not okay? As a person who has dealt with anxiety and several crazy illnesses in her lifetime, the little platitudes:

“it will be okay.”

“ God’s got this.”

“ He won’t give you anything more than you can handle.”

“ He is going to heal you, turn the tide, bring breakthrough.”

They don’t always help. Don’t get me wrong - they do sometimes. I have said them myself. But I use a lot of caution when I throw out the Sunday school answers. I have to truly believe what I am saying. They have to be right for the occasion.

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Powerful Stories

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Up to this point I had only known miracles when it came to my children’s births.

My pregnancy with my son was relatively smooth until the end.  I got very ill with toxaemia and then with pre-eclampsia.  They had to take him a month early.  But here he was a bouncing beautiful baby boy and I recovered stronger than before.  I saw God’s hand through it all. Miraculously even.

Then there was my daughter.   All of the doctors who were involved in my journey with Tiffany’s pregnancy told me she wouldn’t make it. My family doctor, who didn’t want to be negative  told me over and over, he just didn’t know.  He knew that we had many people praying all over the world for her and he knew that that was important.

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What Do You See?

 

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It lies in all of us.

Some more than others.

That desire to please. The desire to be better, work harder run stronger.  But not in the way that motivates and spurs us on - but in that soul crushing, defeating way.

That craving to be as good as our friends. Found as worthy. As valuable and as precious. But often we are found wanting. Maybe not by anyone else but our own cruel selves.

I think it’s called shame. There is always something; always more we could be or more we should have been. We feel marred. We feel second class. We feel that no matter what we do or what we say or how we act, we can never make the cut - the cut of life.

Whatever it is, there is that deep missing component in our lives aching for fulfillment; aching to  lessen the grip of unworthiness.

When I go through those dark caverns of life, I reach for my Bible. What does He say about me?

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Who Am I?

 candles 1645551 1280

It was ten crazy months ago. 

I sat there and stared at it blankly for a long time.  I wasn't sure how to answer it - the silly question on my piece of paper.   "Has anything unusual happened to you today? "  I picked up my pen and started to answer, "Yes - the church we pastored for ten years is closing. "

I erased it.  It was too fresh.  There would be too many questions that I wouldn't feel comfortable answering. It had only happened that day.

I started again,  "Yes,  I have to let something go that was very dear to my heart.”

Again,  too personal for a stranger. 

But I had to write something.  They were doing a sleep study on me and needed to know if anything was going to impede my sleep.  I settled for a lie. 

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