Powerful Stories

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Up to this point I had only known miracles when it came to my children’s births.

My pregnancy with my son was relatively smooth until the end.  I got very ill with toxaemia and then with pre-eclampsia.  They had to take him a month early.  But here he was a bouncing beautiful baby boy and I recovered stronger than before.  I saw God’s hand through it all. Miraculously even.

Then there was my daughter.   All of the doctors who were involved in my journey with Tiffany’s pregnancy told me she wouldn’t make it. My family doctor, who didn’t want to be negative  told me over and over, he just didn’t know.  He knew that we had many people praying all over the world for her and he knew that that was important.

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What Do You See?

 

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It lies in all of us.

Some more than others.

That desire to please. The desire to be better, work harder run stronger.  But not in the way that motivates and spurs us on - but in that soul crushing, defeating way.

That craving to be as good as our friends. Found as worthy. As valuable and as precious. But often we are found wanting. Maybe not by anyone else but our own cruel selves.

I think it’s called shame. There is always something; always more we could be or more we should have been. We feel marred. We feel second class. We feel that no matter what we do or what we say or how we act, we can never make the cut - the cut of life.

Whatever it is, there is that deep missing component in our lives aching for fulfillment; aching to  lessen the grip of unworthiness.

When I go through those dark caverns of life, I reach for my Bible. What does He say about me?

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Who Am I?

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It was ten crazy months ago. 

I sat there and stared at it blankly for a long time.  I wasn't sure how to answer it - the silly question on my piece of paper.   "Has anything unusual happened to you today? "  I picked up my pen and started to answer, "Yes - the church we pastored for ten years is closing. "

I erased it.  It was too fresh.  There would be too many questions that I wouldn't feel comfortable answering. It had only happened that day.

I started again,  "Yes,  I have to let something go that was very dear to my heart.”

Again,  too personal for a stranger. 

But I had to write something.  They were doing a sleep study on me and needed to know if anything was going to impede my sleep.  I settled for a lie. 

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 Why Did I Really Publish a Colouring

Book?

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Do you want to know why I really published a colouring book?

I got tired.  Achingly weary right to my bones.   I got tired of all the debates; of all the arguing.  Of all the loud talking but the not doing.

I look at facebook and there are so many debates   and vaguebooking and complaining and I wondered what I was really doing for the world.  Everyone has opinions - even strong opinions. I do as well.  But are we going to ever convince the next person to change their strong opinions?  I doubt that I will ever convince you to think the way I think and I sure know that you won't convince me.  

Facebook and social media seemed to be boiled down to attacking one another and smearing people groups and ideas in the mud.  What good does this do?  What does it accomplish? Is this who we have become?  Have we become people who don't accept the people that we don't agree with?  Have we become people who just want to be right no matter what it costs? 

Sometimes we think that if we are saying something loud on facebook or in social media we are living life loud.  Which in fact is not true.  Loving your neighbor is living your life loud.  Yelling on face book is just that - it's yelling.

I have opinions on gun control and health plans and transgender bathrooms and presidents and refugees.  But I feel like stating my opinion is not changing the world. I wish it were that easy.

I want to change the world.  I got tired of sitting in my beautiful small church wanting to do something great but really just having a hard time getting up on Sunday and getting there in time to set up all the stuff.  I wanted my life to mean something.  I wanted  to impact something or someone. If we have stopped doing that as a church, as a family, or as an individual,  we have stopped living life boldly and beautifully. 

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